Joe went to the restaurant where the Lion's Club meets every week, sat down and
prepared to have a nice lunch and listen to today's speaker.
All of a sudden, the host of the lunch came up to him and said "Joe, you
have to make a speech today."
Joe says, "Are you nuts? Where is the scheduled speaker?"
The host replies, "He backed out at the last minute and now I have no
speaker. You have to do it."
Joe answers, "You're crazy. What would I speak about?"
The host says, "Anything, anything at all."
Joe squares his shoulders and straightens his tie and says, "All right -
I'll talk about sex."
After the meeting, everyone complimented Joe on his speech. They thought it was
very good. Joe goes home that evening and says to his wife, "Honey, guess
what? I made a speech at the Lion's Club meeting and everyone thought it was
great."
"What was the speech about, dear?" his wife asks.
Joe, looking down at his feet, replies "uh, it was about ... s s s sailing!"
The next day, Joe's wife was downtown shopping and happened to run into the
local bank manager. He comes up to her and states "You ought to be very
proud of your husband. He made a fantastic speech at the luncheon yesterday!"
She replied, "You know, he told me that, but I don't understand it! He's
only done it twice -- the first time he got sick and the second time his hat
blew off!"