HumorShack - Lawyer Joke #78 [Previous Joke] [Next Joke]

Things Not To Say To A Policeman

* I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 

* Sorry, Officer. I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 

* Aren't you that guy from the Village People? 

* Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 

* I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop. 

* I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 

* You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 

* Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS? 

* Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's? 

* I pay your salary! 

* Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too! 

* Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 

* I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are. 

* What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist. 

* No, YOU assume the position. 

* I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special! 

* If I bend over, will I still get a ticket? 

* No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog. 

* No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph. 

* Back off, Barney, I've got a piece. 

* Want to race to the station, Sparky? 

* I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men! 

* On the way to the station let's get a six pack. 

* You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo! 

* Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes! 

* Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen? 

* How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me. 

* Hey officer is that your nightstick, or are you just glad to see me? 

* What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway? 

* I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

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